One Pardon To Rule Them All

Let’s take a moment to laugh at loveleemonicaa, with loveleemonicaa. Warning, this contains obvious spoilers as well as unbelievable content.

My brother and I have always had a great relationship, people are often surprised when they find out how close we are. But, I’m not here to paint a perfect picture. We are still siblings, we still fight. There are things he has done that are unforgivable. There are things I have said that are unforgivable…well, until now.

My Defense:

  • I learned how to play the clarinet on Howard Shore okay. Instead of learning my etude for the week, I made sure I knew how to play Concerning Hobbits.
  • I played all the Play Station 2 games with my brother growing up. I never said I was good at them…wait a minute…okay that makes sense…I now realize why he stopped asking me to play. 
  • While some girls had posters of pop stars, I had a Legolas poster in my room because I was sure that we would one day be together. I mean it made sense, he’d live long enough for us to finally cross paths. (I was too young to appreciate the beauty of a man that was Aragorn okay, I now know I chose poorly back then. But, man those fishtail braids…Mm.)
  • I was tired in college. Who wasn’t? Can’t you relate? See. I’m making sense already. 

I liked Lord of The Rings. That’s the important part here. Then, something unforgivable happened. I blame it on The Hobbit. 

Before you continue reading, I want to stress the importance of forgiveness.

Scene:

MONICA and DANIEL are about to watch a trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey for the first time together. 

MONICA is exhausted from her college course load, dressed in her Star Wars pajama pants, she yawns as the ad (before the ad) plays.

DANIEL is extremely excited for this moment, his eyes glued to the screen in anticipation.

The screen darkens and the preview starts rolling. It fades into an image of a volcano. (There is a lot of volcano footage.) The trailer ends.

MONICA: Wow. (Pause.) Seriously?…I mean what’s with all the volcano footage?

(DANIEL stares at MONICA in a nervous state, eyes squinting, awaiting the damage that’s about to be done.)

DANIEL: What do you mean Mon?

MONICA: (Sarcastically, rolling her eyes.) Talk about a “Teaser Trailer.” (Pause.) They literally didn’t show anything.

Just a bunch of volcano footage–

(DANIEL braces for impact.)

I mean, come on. There’s not even a volcano in Lord of the Rings.

(DANIEL is paralyzed. The only thing he’s able to move are his eye balls. Straight daggers into MONICA’s soul, as if the eye of Sauron himself was present. He takes a deep breath as he tries to gather his thoughts.)

DANIEL: Mon. (Pause.)

MONICA: (Oblivious.) What?

DANIEL: (Slowly.)  What. Did. You. Just. Say?

MONICA: There’s not even a volcano–

(DANIEL interrupts abruptly, shaking his hand back in forth, almost full Nae Nae.)

DANIEL: (With gusto, pretty much out of breath, yelling? Yeah, yelling.) MON. THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS IS GETTING TO MT. DOOM–WHICH IS A VOLCANO–TO DESTROY THE RING. IT’S LITERALLY THE ENTIRE PLOT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE THE RING CAN BE DESTROYED. THE VOLCANO MON, (DANIEL shakes his head and closes his eyes.) LIKE IT’S THE WHOLE POINT. DESTROY THE RING IN THE VOLCANO. THE VOLCANO MON.

(MONICA’s eyes widen slowly as she realizes what she just said. She stops breathing for a moment, tries holding back nervous laughter. She is now the one paralyzed. She curls her lips back inside her mouth and closes her eyes, bows her head. She knows there is a punishment ready to be laid on her. She uncurls her lips and tries to speak, but nothing comes out. Her lips are now frowning, her shame vivid.)

MONICA: (Embarrassed, trying to soften the blow.) Ohhhhh. (Pause.) Right. Right…Mah bad.

DANIEL: (Short.) Get out.

MONICA: (Laughing, nervously.) But…Daniel!

DANIEL: (full Sméagol) LEAVE. NOW. AND NEVER. COME. BACK.

*End Scene*

I know this really isn’t helping my case on what it means to be a Hufflepuff. And I apologize to my Huffs out there, truly, I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

My Penance:

  • I was banned from making any Lord of The Rings references for 4 years. No meme, gif, nothing. (This. Was. Brutal. Within the English language, I speak in the sub-languages of Movie/TV references and sarcasm.) I was allowed a couple of “One does not simply…” every now and then because they were just too good, the counsel, aka my brother, said “I’ll allow it.”

Exhibit a)

meme7.jpg
The 50 Best (and most hilarious) Theatre Memes

But for real. I can’t just explain Les Misérables to you, it’s more than just Vive la Révolution, okay. (Omg look it’s Lord Stark as Boromir!) Daniel hates it when I mix worlds, so that was just for him.   

  • It was written that I was to re-watch all three Lord of The Rings movies without falling asleep or asking questions…but the extended versions. That’s about 10 hours of Lord of The Rings footage. Lord (of the rings) help me.
  • Finally, if I completed this, I would get one thing in return. In exchange (as leverage), I was promised that Daniel would finally watch the show that was made for him, #MozartInTheJungle.
    • This is fairly new, so I have it in writing here, to make sure he follows through.
  • Also, the new iPhone update now has a very well drawn volcano emoji, I can’t believe my brother went that far…but seriously, who does he know at Apple? Anyways, I’m supposed to use it at least once a week now, so sorry if I start including that emoji in my texts. You have been warned.

I know, our fights are pretty intense. You should watch us try and decide what toppings to put on our pizza. I’m sure our neighbors think we are insane, hearing two people yell ingredients at each other like it’s Hell’s Kitchen, but it’s really just ordering pizza…I’m actually surprised there hasn’t been a noise complaint.

You are now up to speed.

I documented the moment in our relationship where it was time to repent and exercise my final penance.

Exhibit b)

As we prepared the offering, I put my hand on the extended edition of Fellowship and repeated after Daniel:

“I Monica, know there’s a volcano in Lord of the Rings. And will know this, from this day forward.”

In an amendment to the above clause for watching all extended editions, I was allowed to live tweet my experience. Check it out.

I am happy to report that I have completed my penance…

Lovelee is free!!!

(And she still likes Lord of the Rings.)

Lovelee Lesson:

Forgiveness. Forgive your sister, for the things she’s said that hurt you in the past. Always remember that the love for your siblings is evergreen, but take responsibility and honor them with the correct form of apology when you are in the wrong. However long it takes for them to forgive you (hopefully not 4 years) for what you have done. They will one day forgive you. Because deep down they know you didn’t mean any harm, you knew better, you were just tired and said something hurtful.

Who knows, maybe I’ll take my own advice. Maybe one day I’ll come to terms with the fact that my brother broke my Anastasia Jewelry Box and I cried for days. My most prized possession from SANTA CLAUS.

Exhibit c)

Maybe one day.


It’s a hard-knock life, for Huffs.


Let me start by saying that…

I, Monica, am a Hufflepuff and I am proud.

And, this is what it means to have that be a part of you, well at least to me:

It’s the age of the Hufflepuff. There’s nooooo denying.

Some of you, already know this. Some of you, are Huffs just like me and are all, “Hell Yeah, Huffs for life.” But, many of you have not grown to understand what it actually means to be a Hufflepuff—who we are, and what we would do for you.

You’ve heard we are an underrated house, or that we aren’t the smartest bunch. Well, we are underrated because we don’t bloat, and yes sometimes we might say things that make us sound not-so-smart, but we are the first to laugh at ourselves for saying it. Wait, is this a foreshadow to a post? Yes. Many. You get to laugh with me remember? That being said, let me be the first to show you with my words, what it really means to be a Hufflepuff and how we can make you feel.

Pottermore says that Hufflepuffs value hard work, patience, loyalty, and fair play. While all these qualities are true, the greatest one not mentioned is our ability to love. We love our friends, we make them our family. We love strangers, we would invite them over for dinner. We make you feel special, especially if it’s your birthday. And, yes we also love food and we wish we could talk to animals, all this is just common sense to us.

We are lovingly, nice people.

Well…until you take advantage of that. Here’s the thing, there’s a badger hidden within us. And, we aren’t afraid to unveil it from the shadows when we need to, like a mama bear protecting her cubs. My badger has come out a couple of times, and trust me, it ain’t pretty. But, our inner badger is still always triggered by love.

We aren’t cowards when it comes to love and loyalty.

In a heartbeat, we would volunteer as tribute for those we love most. We would follow our dearest friend into the fires of mount doom. We are brave when we need to be, to protect those that we love, for the greater good of all. To us, love is our greatest weapon, it’s the only way we know how to help people. In a world filled with hate, we kill with kindness out of love.

We are kindhearted and believe the truth will set us free.

We really are the nice guys. We will compliment you and build you up until you believe the compliment yourself because we won’t give up on you. But sometimes we are also known to give tough love, in the most endearing way. And sometimes, this truth thing can get us into trouble. We can be mistaken for judgy, even when we are just trying to tell you the truth in what you want to hear.

We are selfless, we always put others first.

We are willing to share the honor of winning a Triwizard cup. We are okay with not taking all the hard-earned glory, for our love is not pompous. We would put the love and happiness of those we loved before our own. I would so pull a Jessica Day, and tell my future boyfriend I found out his best friend from med school was in love with him, because I couldn’t live with myself knowing I denied him that opportunity for happiness. Even if I loved him so, so much. That, that kind of selfless love.

We are givers.

We give and give and give, until the takers take it all. We give love, hugs, compassion, cookies, anything to make you feel better. Unfortunately, sometimes people take advantage of that. Sometimes people see us as just givers and don’t know how to give back. And because we give so much, sometimes we get stuck giving without receiving, and sometimes, that breaks our big, lovable hearts. And we become bitter, so we order pizza and eat lots of ice cream.

We are also very logical people.

13 Tumblr Posts To Bring Out Your Inner Hufflepuff 
I mean, that’s all I really need to explain that point…

We are accepting and love unconditionally.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where you’re from, what you’ve been through. In a world so cruel, we think you’re so cool. We see you as the person you are and the potential you have—to be the greatest form of yourself you could ever be. And here’s what’s lovely about us: We are willing to help you get there. We are willing to help you love yourself as much as we love you. If you’re willing to let us in.

The day after the election of 2016, it was gloomy and I was stuck in traffic. At a red light, there was a light blue Volkswagen Beetle that pulled up next to me, it had an “I’m With Her” bumper sticker. I noticed that the windows were down and the girl in the car was singing and dancing. She looked like me, when I’m driving. She called over a homeless man sitting in the rain and gave him a couple of dollars. She then turned and looked in my direction, we made eye contact. She looked at me and we both smiled, acknowledging the call to rise above and love. At the next red light, I paid it forward and offered the next homeless man I saw some of my emergency snacks from my lunch bag.

This is the age of the Hufflepuff indeed. This is the age where the warrior of love will rise above and show the world what it means to love. So get ready, because us Huffs are love warriors. We are ready to show the world how much we can love, how much we can help you, how much we can be loyal till the end. Always.

And yes, we do have a bit of sass, but it’s all out of love.

If you can’t understand a Hufflepuff, at least have one around, we make really great friends. And, we carry the one thing everyone needs: love. If you can’t be a Hufflepuff, be with a Hufflepuff. If this hasn’t provided you with some sort of new perspective for this lovely house, please take your close minded views else where. We are loving and accepting people, but we also don’t have time for those who are rude and choose not to see the world through a lovely lens. We choose to continue embracing who we are, we choose to rise above, and we choose to keep showing our ability to love, because that’s what being a Hufflepuff is all about–love, loyalty, laughter, and food, lots and lots of food.

Lovelee Lesson:

Do not give up when it comes to love. Continue to love as much as you can, especially when you feel like there isn’t any love left to give. To all the love warriors out there…(huff or not, obviously all are welcome) start falling in love, start the riot–go give free hugs, buy someone flowers, make notes filled with loving, kind words and pass them around to strangers. Plant seeds through random acts of kindness. Because right now, the world needs love, not fear, not hate. Use your heart as a weapon and make it hurt like Heaven—as in Redemption, Unity, Mercy, Hope, Faith, and above all else, Love. Because in the end…Love. Always. Wins.

I’ll close with a quote from one of the greatest wizards who ever lived, Albus Dumbledore:

Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”

Now, go eat a slice of pizza and go hug somebody–that’s a Huff order.

Notes: Photo credit goes to my bro. Big thanks to my Fantastic Beast Jude, for laying down right in the shot, and my brother for just going with it.